Wednesday, April 17, 2002

Salon Defines the Stages of Love/Lust

As listed by Em and Lo in their advice column for the love lorn -- these are the stages of a modern love life:

Friendship n. You hang out, have things in common, swap stories, not tongues. (Note: If a woman is looking for "either" a man or a woman and has "friendship" checked off, she's not necessarily bisexual — she probably just moved to a new city and is looking for drinking buddies.)

Dating n. You hang out, have things in common, swap stories, swap tongues and maybe other body parts (not necessarily on the first date), and aren't exclusive (unless otherwise discussed and agreed upon).

Serious Relationship n. You are exclusive (unless you're in one of those newfangled open relationships, but this has been discussed and agreed upon by both parties). You talk about the relationship. You call each other boyfriend or girlfriend. You make plans together more than three days in advance. You talk baby talk to each other but would never admit it to anyone else. Your ad is hidden, not deleted — but only so you can show the grandkids how you met. (Note: Meeting up for a second personals date does not automatically mean you two are in a serious relationship. Everyone must go through the "dating" stage first.)

Play n. You are naughty and need to be spanked often, by different paddles.

posted by Bohica at 6:04 AM