Wednesday, May 01, 2002

Damn Ice Cream Trucks!

The loud, repetitive, saccharine cheerfulness of ice cream truck music is a daily suburban irritant.

In my new neighborhood, the truck slowly drives from street to street -- sometimes cruising through three or more times in an evening.

Its awful.

But even I -- ever pugnacious and litigious in outlook -- would not go after this nuisance in the manner of the fine folk of Hartford, Connecticut.

There the ice cream man is under attack and has been issued four citations for noise ordinance violations over the last two months.

The franchise owner will have his day in court this Friday.

Full details at the Hartford Courant.

Best quote from the article:

"We're not talking about drug dealers or prostitutes. I mean, this is Mister Softee. There's got to be room for a compromise here."

To hear why ice cream trucks are so awful -- click here -- and be transported into HELL itself.

****Brief intermission while you enjoy the flames....****

Now that you are back and grateful for the soothing presence that is Bohica... here is further proof of the evil nature of ice cream trucks:

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother to comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"

posted by Bohica at 10:43 AM