Wednesday, May 08, 2002

Father's and Daughters

Slate is running a series of journal style postings from a reporter whose family recently welcomed their second child.

Today's is good. These paragraphs made me think about my older brother and his daughter:

In the past three years I have tried on occasion to imagine what effects I am having on my child. I do this dutifully rather than naturally because it seems like the sort of thing a father should do. But I never get anywhere with it. The fact, as opposed to the theory, of life with a small child is an amoral system of bribes and blackmails. You do this for me, you get that. You don't do this for me, you don't get that.

I've always assumed that if a small child has enough joy and love and stability in her life, along with intelligently directed bribes and blackmail, the rest will take care of itself. And my approach appeared to be working. Right up until the birth of her sister Tallulah excelled at childhood and did so, it seemed, effortlessly. It honestly never occurred to me that I should be in some way shaping her. I was one of those easy-going CEOs who believe that excessive discipline crushes the creativity of his employees. I believed in managing by hanging around.

Specifically the bit about bribes and blackmail applies. My mom is always relating stories of his having to bargain with her.

She should have just gotten her birthday loot from San Antonio and I am waiting to hear feedback about the gun.

posted by Bohica at 12:03 PM