Thursday, June 20, 2002

Out Boying the Boys

Those familiar with "One up, One down" can skip down to the part about porn.

(Yes, porn. It always comes back to porn.)

For you few who have not been forced to listen to me expound on this social phenomena -- "One up, One down" is Christina shorthand describing a game played by boys and men and the rare woman who has spent time in a "man's world" environment.

Essentially -- if you aren't One up, you must be One down. This applies to power, money, strength, female conquests, wang size -- you name it.

Wang size can also sum it up nicely as a good alternative name for the pastime is "Who has the biggest dick?" Metaphorically speaking for the most part.

With three brothers, no sisters, a career military dad, four years of military boarding school, four years at the U.S. Naval Academy, over 12 years of being the only girl on the team (Little League baseball, competitive rifle shooting, and judo), my own military career, and an eye for detail in social interaction -- I have spent my time in many "man's world" environments and am confident this game is an entrenched part of male reality.

In some ways it can even be a good time -- 'cause most guys don't think women can play... after all, we lack the requisite wang. So much fun and after action hilarity can result when you go One up, but it can also suck.

I hate to lose and so play to win and sometimes feel silly and immature afterwards. I usually shake that self-recrimination off as societal programming -- that insipid ban on behavior that could be thought "bitchy."

Not that I play often now -- maybe every once in a while when some turkey is hitting on me in a bar or I get back in a "man's world" environment.

But I can trace some of my past choices directly to this game -- the Harley episode for instance. I may have tried to justify it as a practical investment -- but it was mostly a macho trip. A way to One up.

The motorcycle is just one example and because I've bared enough personal retard quotient for one day, I'll spare you others and get to the porn.

While browsing Salon, I came across Porn Provocateur.

Synopsis: Lizzy Borden, whose ultraviolent films feature women being beaten, raped and doused in vomit, insists that she is a gender pioneer whose repellent movies are morality tales.

How does that tie in to a male wang size competition?

Aside for the obvious gutter thoughts, here is the portion that I recognized in Lizzy's life experience:

Borden began to see herself as a kind of female challenge to the male-dominated industry: "I said: 'I'm fucked up! I can write something! I can be a man!' My mission after that was to prove everyone wrong."

Around her office, she says, she now acts just like a guy: She describes, with glee, how she recently peed on the chair of a co-worker and then made him sit on it, and how she and her best friend, star Veronica Caine, hid a dead fish in the office of another co-worker. She says that she farts and scratches and takes no grief, and that this means that the men of the porn industry no longer treat her like one of those "fluffy-puffy" porn queens.

"It's a power thing," she says. "These people told me I couldn't do something, and that's the only reason I wanted to do it. Because they told me I can't ... So I started to get more and more hardcore, until now no one can top me. I can get anyone to do anything because I am a woman. I think I've earned that respect."

Male-dominated industry, acting like a guy, a power thing, no one can top me, respect.

A classic (but twisted) case of One up, One down.

I've never seen any of Lizzy's work and won't go looking for it, but I understand her motivation. When the only game in town is with the guys, you have to play even harder to win.

posted by Bohica at 3:39 PM