Thursday, February 13, 2003

Punny? or Not...

Yes, I confess -- I love 'em:

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.

After about an hour, the hotel manager came out of his office and asked them to disperse.

"But why?, they asked, as they moved off.

"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

________________________

I took the MARC into DC yesterday.

Efficient mass transit is one thing I miss living in Texas.

MARC and Metro were mainstays my last year at the Pentagon when I had night classes. Parking was damn near impossible and incredibly pricey at the Law Center -- which is three blocks from the Capitol. Another disincentive to driving was having to fight horrendous traffic super early in the morning and dealing with evening construction delays on the way home. Not to mention the danger of driving tired after a sixteen hour day.

In addition to convenience and cost avoidance, the train provided down time to skim enough assigned text to prevent complete brain lock on the odd chance I was targeted in class.

On the way home, I napped. Never slept through my stop either....

By graduation time, I knew all the conductors on the Penn line and had a standing invitation to ride up front with the drivers.

With two foot more hair now, although a couple looked closely -- none could place me. Not wanting an "old home week" ride into the city, I was quiet and read a commuter's abandoned Post.

The train was nice -- a double decker. Sort of like busses in London. An improvement indicating increased use.

The round trip fair was a buck fifty more -- which is only a thirty cent a year increase. I did notice a new unlimited combo card for Metro, Light Rail, MARC and VRE which was available for about twenty bucks more than a monthly MARC pass -- a pretty good deal. Plus parking was still free.

At Union Station, it was depressing to see the added "security."

I stopped at the Body Shop -- still in the same place and still the size of a large closet -- to pick up my favorite shower vice: Satsuma soap.

In addition to a closed circuit monitoring system complete with display behind the register, there were two uniformed guards -- one in each corner by the entrance.

Despite a sale on Satsuma, my shopping experience was rather unsatisfying. Even with no reason to feel this way -- their presence made me feel furtive, self-conscious and suspicious.

Before escaping outside, I counted ten more cop-like people -- six "rented" and four municipal.

Scuttling on to the Law Center to hit the book store for Georgetown loot, I passed what had been a crack house on an abandoned lot.

Now it was seven or eight stories of gleaming office newness.

Sad in a way.

The crack house had character and passing it each night, I would imagine fixing it up. It had a turret and everything.

I wonder if it was moved or if it was just torn down....

From there I cruised back past the Capitol building to the mall -- lingering at the Hirshhorn outdoor sculpture garden.

There was at least one cop every block along the way.

Not many tourists either.

But then -- winter is not the best time to sight see on the East coast.

With only thirty minutes left until closing, I decided to speed run through the gem collection at the Museum of Natural History.

Its always been a favorite. I went there to consider my options when it was time to choose a stone for my academy class ring.

However -- that nostalgia trip was not to be -- waiting just inside were security guys who wanted to check my bags.

I had no problem with them snooping through my Georgetown paraphernalia and fruity soaps, but drew then line at my purse.

Get real. I fit no terrorist profile. I'm five four, female and decidely non-muslim in appearance. However, due to their system -- search all bags... mostly women were stopped. After all women carry purses -- men do not. A man could have ten hand grenades or twenty pounds of C-4 strapped around his waist and he would have been waived right through.

The search was so impractical it was offensive.

Politely I said I'd come back another time and left.

Then -- the freakiest thing happened.

A uniformed Smithsonian cop tailed me back to Union Station -- and no, I was not imagining this.

As I stopped to check out different monuments and displays, the guy loitered until I moved on.

Now I realize everyone is hyped up about the whole terrorism thing. Code orange and all.

But -- the so called security, the searches, and then the final shadow were oppressive. I wonder if it was similar to the "shopping while black" experience most minorities complain about.

And all that effort just won't be terribly effective in discouraging professionals or serious amatures either. Especially suicidal ones.

Then this morning CNN starts announcing the stationing of Avenger surface to air missile systems around the District.

It made me glad to have only bought four MARC trips.

I think I'll spend my time elsewhere.

Other than that... without a high speed internet connection, surfing has been limited.

However, a NY Times article about the Darwin fish car ornament caught my eye: Unexpected Evolution of a Fish Out of Water.

Every time I pass a vehicle with the Jesus fish, an almost overwhelming desire to pry it off strikes me.

posted by Bohica at 12:02 AM