Tuesday, September 28, 2004

A Nonpartisan Joke

While crossing the street a US Senator and a Congressman are tragically hit by a truck and die. They arrive in Heaven and are met by St. Peter.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a dilemma. We seldom see politicians around these parts, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let us in," say the man and woman.

"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose were to spend eternity."

"Really, we've made up our minds. We want to be in Heaven," say the Senator and the Congressman.

"I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts them to the elevator and they go down, down, down to Hell.

The doors open and they find themselves in the middle of a green golf course. There is a club in the distance and standing in front of it are all their friends, other politicians who had worked with them, and everyone who had contributed millions to their campaigns. All are very happy and in evening dress... They run to greet them, shake their hands, and reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the Devil -- a very friendly guy having a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are enjoying themselves so much that before they realize it is time to go.

Everyone gives them a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for them. "Now it's time to visit Heaven."

So, the Senator and Congressman join a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before they realize it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"You've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The Senator and Congressman reflect for a minute, then answer: "Well, we would never have said it before, we mean Heaven has been delightful, but we think we would be better off in Hell."

So St. Peter escorts them to the elevator and they go down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and they are in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. They see all their friends dressed in rags, picking up trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to them and puts his arms around their shoulders.

"We don't understand," stammer the Senator and Congressman. "Yesterday we were here and there was a golf course and club, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and our friends look miserable. What happened?"

The Devil looks at them, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning...... Today you voted!

posted by Bohica at 9:40 AM